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In another amazing liberal media feat, a “news” story picked-up by the Vancouver Sun (Canwest Global) has managed to base a story on Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai on gaseous nothingness or what we in the Non-Liberal-Left Total BS-Spotting trade call, “ether”.  This is in contradistinction to the Liberal-left’s other sources for stories, which is described as “wishful thinking based on our severely liberal-left world view”.

Vancouver Sun

KABUL, Afghanistan—The bloodiest fighting since the Taliban’s fall, abject failure to control the drug trade and gaping rich-poor disparities are shaking the credibility of Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai.

…based on exactly nothing and according to ghosts. 

Less than two years after Karzai sealed a strong majority vote in the war-battered country’s first post-Taliban election, the popularity of his U.S.-backed administration has dwindled amid rising anger over continuing poverty and corruption.

…based on exactly nothing and according to our typewriters. 

[…] The failure of the government and its international supporters to stabilize the Taliban heartland since the hardline regime fell in late 2001 has severely impeded efforts to develop it, shaking faith in Karzai’s ability to bring change.

…which we found out by simply typing it into our word-processors to make it so. 

Yes that’s it.  No sources for their wishful-thinking polling based on ether.  They just said it was so.  In their “news story”.

On Tuesday, the increasingly hideous liberal-biased and ever pessimistic New York Times blathered largely along the same rock-solid line. (Think they all have Blackberries?):

After months of widespread frustration in Afghanistan over corruption, the economy and a lack of justice and security, doubts about President Hamid Karzai have led to a crisis of confidence in the country.

…according to sources… of ether and sundry gaseous nothingnesses.

No wait:  Here’s the sources: 

Interviews with ordinary Afghans, foreign diplomats and Afghan officials make clear that the expanding Taliban insurgency in the south represents the most serious challenge yet to Karzai’s presidency.

Surrrrvey says:  “Makes clear!”.  According to my calculations, that scientific poll is incorrect within plus or minus 100% 20 times out of 20. 

They’re not done yet.  They must repeat it for clarity, in case you aren’t ready to commit suicide yet over all the awfulness:

The insurgency has precipitated an eruption of doubts about Karzai, widely viewed as having failed to attend to a range of problems that have left Afghans asking what the government is doing.

…yes folks it’s a veritable (and I’ve never heard this one before) “eruption of doubts”.  No actually that’s what they said so it’s not “veritable”.  It’s a fact!  The journalist’s typing made it so.  It’s “widely viewed”, after all!

But they’re not done yet.  You’re still not in total despair yet, perhaps.  (Could happen!) 

Corruption is so widespread, the government apparently so lethargic, and the divide between rich and poor so great, that Karzai is losing public support, warn officials like Ahmad Fahim Hakim, vice chairman of the Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission.

Oh goodness, they have human rights commissions in Afghanistan now do they?  I bet they’re all over that Taliban group. 

But anyway they’re not done yet in their “news story”.

[…] For the first time since Karzai took power four and half years ago, Afghans and diplomats are speculating about who might replace him. Most agree that the answer for now is no one, leaving the fate of the U.S.-led military involvement in Afghanistan intimately tied to Karzai’s own success or failure.

Who can replace him, dear God?  No one!  It’s NOT looking good, folks.  But they’re not done yet. 

[…] But the costs of his compromises are becoming harder to stomach for average Afghans and some foreign donors. Critics say they have insulated many people from the benefits of democratic change and have hampered the running of the president’s administration and local government.

Well at least they interviewed some critics!  Who now suffer from sour stomachs.  And yet it goes on.

[…] Riots in Kabul on May 29, which killed 17 people in the worst violence in the capital since …

[…] The violence came after three Afghans were killed by a runaway American military truck, and four more killed when American soldiers fired into an angry crowd.

Protesters later rampaged through the streets, attacking foreign offices and chanting “Death to Karzai,” an indication of how he is blamed for the growing disenchantment.

[…] Recriminations against Karzai have continued, and his own missteps have not helped redeem his political standing.

[…] Recent interviews with a range of Afghans illustrated a common theme of complaints against corrupt and self- serving government officials.

…and on it goes in this article headlined “Doubts about Karzai growing in Afghanistan”, written by By Carlotta Gall or The New York Times

Not to be outdone, the New York Times editorial today is headlined:  “Losing Afghanistan”.

Reclaiming Afghanistan from the Taliban remains a crucial element in America’s global struggle against terrorism. So it should be setting off alarm bells in Washington that Afghans are becoming disenchanted with the performance of the country’s pro-American president, Hamid Karzai. […]

And now you know the rock-solid fact-based liberal-left news from “reliable” “fair and balanced” sources.  Have a lovely day.


Contact the Editor: Joel Johannesen
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