Friday, March 29, 2024

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Earth to Martin.

Here’s the second part of Team Martin’s yesterday, Wednesday, when he needed to be someplace else, like Pluto.  As luck would have it, the evil Americans are launching a spacecraft to Pluto this very day.  The first part of his Wednesday was hellacious, here on earth.  Pluto is said to be fertile ground for the “progressive” vote, so that’s the plus.

Current Liberal leader Paul (“I dint know nuttin”) Martin visits Ontario Liberal candidate Gary Carr to help prop up his candidacy.  He speaks to the need for all like-minded “progressives”, who are the enemy of evil, which as you know by now is conservative Canadians and the Conservative Party and Stephen Harper, to join together, to fight said evil (us).

See, us conservative Canadians want to destroy Canada.  I did NOT know that. 

So:

1.  He makes the clarion call for all his would-be allies —“progressives” (code for “liberals”) which includes, he says, the Greens, the NDP, the Liberals, and even some old Progressive Conservatives— to unite as one.  He calls on those “progressives” to join together as allies to combat the coming terror —which is to say conservative-thinking Canadians—  in what he seems to think is a war on “Canadian values” like gay-marriage.  I laugh uproariously, then carry on with my work which involves working feverishly to change Canada for the better with conservative values, which all this time I’ve been calling “Canadian values”. 

2. Martin warns Canadians that electing a Harper and Conservative government means, among other horrors,  the end of all that liberal gay marriage fun—to say nothing of swingers clubs and wife-swapping.  He fails to observe that Gary Carr is one of the many Liberal Party members is who AGAINST Team Martin’s changing of the definition of “Canadian family” and “marriage”, and who voted against it in Parliament last year, against Martin’s “progressive” demands, making him not so “progressive” in Martin’s eyes, if only he had half a clue.  He seems not to even notice the hilarity of the situation, as Carr looks pained and sheepish standing behind him hoping the moment ends really soon so he can board the rocket to Pluto currently on the launch pad in Florida. 

3. It turns out that Martin is campaigning in Ontario trying to save Liberal seats, the safest bets for the Liberals being currently owned by Liberals who are on record as being similarly against gay marriage. 

Insert laughter here.

Joel Johannesen
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