The Globe and Mail sets us straight this morning about what’s what in Canadian politics. Allow me to explain for you:
Belinda Stronach, liberal plant (and by “plant” I of course only mean that she’s like a large beet) and member of Liberal Party Too, which used to be called the Conservative Party, says that her party (ostensibly called the Conservative Party) is wrong to push for an election, because it would jeopardize the NDP/Liberal budget and that budget is what Canadians want. That’s what Stronach, who tried to be the leader of the “Conservative Party”, said. Support the NDP/Liberal marriage. Don’t support the Conservative Party.
Great party. They’ve really got it together.
See, Canadians don’t want a stupid Conservative Party budget, should the conservatives win which she hopes they won’t—they want this ever-so-delightful NDP/Liberal Party (One) budget. So don’t push for an election. At least not until she gets a chance to run for “Conservative” Party leadership again, and she gets to drag the party right into the left-wing of the political spectrum.
See, if the conservatives win, they could never pull off a budget masterpiece like the NDP/Liberal Party doozy. They could never support municipalities and could never fund infrastructure across Canada, because they’ll be too busy funding the religious-right and ending all healthcare—or worse, stopping funding for the state-run CBC, or something equally as galling. Vote liberal. See? That’s our Belinda! Thanks Belinda!
“The infrastructure investment hasn’t been made over the last 20 years,” she said. “We need to catch up.”
[And only the liberal-left can do it! If the “Cons” win, they won’t pass no budget no how not never because they’re against “budgets”!]
[…] Ms. Stronach said she also spoke yesterday with Ontario Progressive Conservative Leader John Tory about the need to ensure the infrastructure money flows.
“I share John Tory’s general concern,” she said.
[You share John Tory’s general political leanings: liberal.]
“We can’t jeopardize the funding for the infrastructure programs, which include transportation, roads and public transit. So I do share his concerns.”
Ms. Stronach is also seen as
[by whom?]
representing the more moderate wing
[oh “the more moderate wing”—oh OK—thanks for the tip, G&M, though I’ve never, ever heard that is such a thing as a “moderate wing” of the Liberal Party or the NDP—is that because they’re ALL “moderate” over there on the left-wing socialist side? Amazing!]
of the party.
See? Voting liberal, being liberal, makes you “moderate”. Being a conservative makes you…. let’s say it together now…. “an extreme freakshow nutbar member of the religious right bigotry assemblage”. And you “hate gays” because you’re a “homophobe”, you’re “scary”, you have a “hidden agenda”, and you’re a moron. Remember now? Thanks Belinda! Thanks Globe and Mail! Vote liberal! Got it!
UPDATE 11:37 AM PDT: Liberal cabinet minister Scott Brison just this moment stood up in the house and used Belinda Stronach’s quotes (above) to prove that the Conservatives are wrong, and that the Liberals are right. To grand applause and laughter from the non-Conservative Party sides of the house. Go team.
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